One morning, this gay man woke up from a wonderful dream, only to hear his partner in the bathroom making grunting and moaning sounds. The gay man got out of bed, walked down the hall and opened the bathroom door.
The gay man looked at his partner, masturbating with a condom on.
"What the hell are you doing?" he asked his partner.
The gay man's partner looked up at him sheepishly, "Oh, I was just packing your lunch!"
- hand job