I dont have to do that!


One procedure of late seems to be working ...
  1. recoginze that some behavior that i am contemplating would be habitual
  2. of course, recognize that it does not further my longer range intentions
  3. recognize the  things i say to myself to rationalize doing the habitual behavior as also habitual behavior.
  4. recognize that: I don't have to do it!  even though i want to and even though habitually i usually do it. 
  5. even say to myself "I don't have to do that!"
  6. don't do it, do something else instead.
  7. reward yourself for following this procedure!

Tags

  1. behavior
  2. plastic habits
  3. bad habits
  4. dont do that

Comments


Seth says
Of course the other thing that makes this work is to culture a good feeling when you (1) recognize the habit before you do it (2) realize that you don't have to follow the habit and  (3) actually do something else instead, and now (4) reward yourself with a good feeling that you have triumphed !


That reward is important ... it sets you up to run the procedure again and again !

Seth says
C 2010-10-06 15:29:44 14412
I still like the Kelly Clarkson YouTube  reference for "Don't Do That!" !
Yaeah i like that too

Note the difference between a simple "don't do that" and the more particular "don't have to do that".  There is a feeling or voice that arise in me lots of times which says ... you know you're going to do this, you always do, don't fight it.  This is the antidote for that ... it neutralizes it  ... it is the stark realization that, no, i don't know i am going to do it, and no i am not compelled to do it, all rationalizations aside and notwithstanding.

Seth says
M 2010-10-06 16:26:29 14412
One is an imperitive that you can choose to hear internally as if it were outside & the other still gives you the choice. A miss-matcher would not like the former.

Both of them give you a choice ... if somebody says "don't do that" i can do it or not ... if i say "i don't have to do that", i can still do it or not.  The essence of my "discovery" is the recognition that something is habitual followed by the realization that i don't have to live out the habit. 

I do understand that a mis-matcher might do the opposite of something somebody else tells him to do ... perhaps even if i tell myself to do it, i might still rebel and do the opposite ... but this is different in that there is no rebellion or mis-match whatsoever that i can tell.  It is a recognition followed by a realization.  Once you recognize that something is habitual and bring that recognition to the forefront of your consciousness, then taking the next step of realizing that habitual behavior is not really all that compelling, is kind of easy.  After the recognition and the realization happen, if you are still into a self destruction mis-matching toward yourself, you can go "shit, fuck it all i'm gonna do it anyway"... but once something is recognized, it is hard to un-ring the recognition bell ... you know your fucking up ... and you know you don't have to. 

Seth says
Here is another algorithm ... from G+ here



Mark de LA says
There is also the swish pattern http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Methods_of_neuro-linguistic_programming to install a substitution. Putting a reminder on my fridge wouldn't work at all for me.  The chart is unclear around that area.
An interesting thing on eating & doctor oz is substituting a less harmful (sugary or fat is less) which satisfies the same craving. http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/food-cheats-cut-your-cravings.


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