A Direct Experience During #1

Usually #2 is more stimulating for such purposes. Anyway, I had awakened ~ 6:10AM & went out into the front room to meditate & contemplate. I had a hard time focusing on NOW & being in the present. So I decided to focus on my breathing & become as fully conscious of my body. As I did I noticed stuff from the past (memories) & ideas of the future (fears & things to do) creeping in at a rapid pace.

Now my idea of NOW has nothing to do with time; itself being an abstraction, possibly of change. NOW is not about time, it's something else. When I am in the present & present to it being the present all I can focus on is my body. There is no Cartesian x-coordinate of time with the past to the left, 0 as the present & the future going out to the right. (or me on the line at zero and looking forward & backward). There's just me.

Eventually I had to piss & got up to go do so still trying to maintain the present while walking and all the rest. As I stood there the epiphany happened. The essence of Deja Vu or endless Ground-Hog Day is always being somewhere like the past & future which are less rich than the present. They are more or less fixed amounts absent recent trauma. The past doesn't get any better & the future is never vivid enough.

Voila! Eureka! It's all the same day!

I then made a cup of coffee & began another Ground-Hog Day.

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Seth says

thanks for sharing

Seth says

MR 2012-04-12 09:40:24 15928

seth 2012-04-12 08:49:53 15928

i got an epiphany last night ... every time i recognize something i get a NOW.

Sounds like fun, but don't you have to use the past to recognize something?

I think I'm missing some of the epiphany.

well, me thinks, that not using the past, is not an option ... without the past there is no mind ... and therefore there is no epiphany ... but i know you are trying to go beyond mind itself ... have fun with that ... not my thing.

Mark de LA says

One part of the original epiphany of the item was that "I am NOT" if all I have is mind - a low fidelity distortion of experience plus a fantasy of a future built on the past.

Seth says

MR 2012-04-12 11:18:53 15928

I don't need the past nor the future to grok "I AM"!

Your mileage may vary.

I know.

Mark de LA says

I'll piggyback this on the end of this one because it did occur to me during the same session. Let it be called the "close-quarter nested RWG" or "local rwg" or the LRWG for short.

Simply put I catch myself many times during the day in inner dialogue justifying or explaining to myself what I am doing (instead of whatever?) as if an inner RWG was going on with my conscience.

Just who is talking & who is listening? This is a distinction different from all the other internal dialogue such as goes on about daily events, blogs & about interactions with T.

Years ago (~ 40) while brushing my teeth, after a long night of Charlene continuously waking me up every time I tried to go to sleep & me not responding, I groked that the inner voice was behaving like a guardian angel mostly when my response was inner laughter. This morning I got some inner laughter when I noticed my LRWG with myself.

A Direct Experience During #1

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