Rackets

The right-wrong-game (RWG) is a distinction about human behavior.  You might call it a principle - one of many.  A racket is a manifestation of the RWG principle.  I first ran into it ~ 20 years ago in some Landmark seminars in the days before online. It was always communicated orally & I never found it written down. Here is a taste:
source: In our example, at first glance, it appears that the wife is upset at her husband for being late. In fact, she gets a payoff that may be worth far more than punctuality: she gets to be right and feel superior.  She also has a card that will allow her to be late sometime in the future, as payback.  What appears to be a legitimate complaint is actually a play for power.
   As an aside, rackets inside relationships are always perfectly paired. The husband here also has a racket of being late--whereby he gets to make his wife wrong for making him wrong.  
... This distinction of a rackett is valuble in improving communication at all levels from family relationships to business & political - It allows the discussion to embrace what is normally unspoken & may be sabotaging marriage, negotiation, progress & even the enjoyment of life & love, imho.
The whole segment of the book on rackets is 3 pages I call R1 , R2 & R3 lifted from the book The Three Laws of Performance by Steve Zaffron & Dave Logan.

Lets tame the dragon, eh? The first page of the next section gives further motivation. Language has a lot to do with how things occur for ourselves & others. Not all language is memes, however.

<==Picture borrowed here from facebook to illustrate.

Tags

  1. language
  2. rackets
  3. rwg
  4. complaints
  5. behavior
  6. plastic habits

Comments


Mark de LA says
seth 2012-12-22 10:49:46 16353
good find.  Bad behavior gets institutionalized with rewards and costs on both sides.   Like a machine where stimulus/reward and punishment/defense ... etc ... becomes patters or habits ... repeated time and again.   Yes, recognizing the whole racket is an important step in flashing out of it .
While the effect can be institutional, uncovering it from the unspoken & unsaid (sometimes the realm of political correctness) where it hides, is the responsibility of individuals & is alterable at the individual level through honest, open discourse.


Mark de LA says
We often think of government and corporations as objects and "them" & lose sight of the fact that they are simply a collection of people just like us & the character of the whole is made up from the character of the individuals & especially the character of those who become the group leaders which they follow.


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