Real Communication

Real communication is between humans not dry words in a blog or a book or read to us on a TV screen. The words are not communication - they are the tools or artifacts of communication. No one sane person would confuse an actual apple with the word apple. Real juice is in the real apple.

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Mark de LA says

I guess I fucked the first sentence up a bit & should have said "not between dry words". One can pretend that he is divorced from his words & he is in fact - once they are uttered. OTOH, "it's not about me" the phrase which shows up a lot here trends to pretend something else - almost like the words are responsible & not the man behind them.
I like a man (or woman) that lives his words - is connected to them & identifies with what he says -or- cleans up what he says if he speaks in error. I like a man (or woman) who identifies with what he says rather than, like a politician, changes his tune with the wind.
I like a man of principles, who can stand firm on something (anything?), popular, unpopular, human, or his own declarations. Such can enable me to reach across the abyss & understand, grok, the person & extend an appreciation of being beyond my own skin & mind.

Seth says

well yes certainly, what we do with, and to, each other is the juice of our lives. Words and media are some of the tools we do it with. Words and media extend our interaction beyond the the mere tactile to include almost anything that happens in our minds. Modern media extends our interactions to anyone on Earth eliminating the old proximity requirement vastly increasing our possibilities. And, yes certainly, we should not confuse the tools with the interaction. The interaction itself is more important to us than the media in which it happens. But things do blend ... they are not always so distinct ... do we dance to the music ... or does the music dance to us?

, note to self, consider ... does this have something to do with mixed media ?

Mark de LA says

Einai 2014-04-09 08:57:59 17267

seth 2014-04-09 08:57:04 17267

i frequently use the phrase "it's not about me" to refer to cases where somebody makes something i said about me rather than about what i was talking about. when i say that, i do not say it to divorce myself from my words for which i take responsibility, but rather to tell the other person that they have changed the topic.

Even on MY topics, eh?

You are involved in the shit you say - is that clear? yet?

Mark de LA says

A conversation I had at breakfast this AM started out with ketchup & ended up with war stories about my exploits with a woman in the Navy. It was a conversation. If they are human & NOT Elizabots on the other end they wander - sort of bringing in topics with feeling associations.
The conversation in question went something like this: ketchup .. we were running out of ketchup in the bottle .. my captain on the last ship I was on wouldn't allow ketchup on the wardroom table because he thought it debased the food .. he was somewhat of an asshole .. I liked most of my captains though .. the XO was the one on ship who was responsible & mostly had to be the duty asshole .. I had some really bad XO's except one who looked like Ross Perot .. I almost ran off with his girlfriend at a beach party he was at .. she invited me to escort her over to the trees where she parked .. nothing happened .. was worrying about the XO (executive officer) .. saw her later though at a different party & she was so drunk she knew not what was up ... wow how did we get there ? what were we talking about .. T chimes in KETCHUP!

some conversations bridge the gap & allow for trains of feeling as well!

Mark de LA says

A person IS part of the context of a conversation.
M.R. 2014

Mark de LA says

seth 2014-04-09 09:16:25 17267

Einai 2014-04-09 08:59:58 17267

Einai 2014-04-09 08:57:59 17267

seth 2014-04-09 08:57:04 17267

Even on MY topics, eh?

You are involved in the shit you say - is that clear? yet?

well yes certainly i am "involved in the shit i say". but when i talk about a topic, your topic, my topic, i am not necessarily talking about myself. i am talking about the topic. now i may use myself as an example ... and frequently do ... but that still does not make me the topic. when somebody continually changes from talking about a thing, to talking about me doing that thing, it distracts from the focus on the thing itself ... and especially so when the distraction contains juice about me which is insulting degrading or actually twisting my intentions.

Now, changing topics, is that clear to you? yet?

It is clear to me what you usually think is going on in the conversation! Otherwise who knows?

Mark de LA says

seth 2014-04-09 09:38:34 17267

Einai 2014-04-09 09:13:27 17267

some conversations bridge the gap & allow for trains of feeling as well!

yep in conversations topics change and meander all over the place ... especially in social settings. when trying to focus on something in particular, it is not recommended.

Kinda depends upon what one wants to focus on and away from, eh? Dry munges of words, ME?, not so much.

Real Communication

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