blaming the victim


Let us suppose that a sniper fires a bullet at a person and shoots off their arm ... and that the sniper and the person never crossed paths prior to the sniper pulling the trigger.   In such a case we call the person a "victim" of the deed of sniper whom we blame for the injuries experienced by the person. 

We do not blame the victim for his own injuries. 

Now there are many less extreme examples where one person causes harm to another by their actions.  That harm can be of the body, or even of the mind.   When this happens we can still reasonably apply the term "victim" to the person who must endure the harm, and "blame" to the person who caused it. 

-------------------------------------

Except for some new aged thinking.  

This new thinking assumes that each person is completely responsible for everything that happens to them.  Hence, the thinking goes,  a person can not be a victim unless they themselves have caused their own injuries. 

The effect of this new meme is that some people are going around actually cause psychological pain in others and then, in essence, saying to them "you have harmed yourself, because your are completely responsible for everything that happens to you".   They are blaming the victim instead of blaming themselves.  

It is a fun thing for them to do ...
i'm sure it makes them feel superior ...
but it is a lie.

I first ran into this kind of interaction during a Living Theater production back in the 70s in San Francisco.   We were waiting for the play to begin, when some EST people were presuming to befriend me, but  ended up making me feel like shit,  and then proceeded to start blaming me for the way i was feeling.   At the time i didn't know what was really happening.  But now i can look back and understand what was going down. 

__________________________

All of that said, and digested, i still think there is merit in a partial use of this new aged meme.   But it needs to be honestly qualified.   We are all, each of us to some degree, responsible for our own lives ... and that includes what happens in them ... and what we experience.   The man who got his arm shot off could not have prevented that from happening,  but how he reacts to it is almost entirely up to him.  If he lets his life go to pieces, that is not the fault of the sniper ... for that he would have only himself to blame.


Tags

  1. victimhood
  2. item 18601
  3. victim
  4. blame
  5. blame the victim
  6. deeds
  7. credit
  8. attribution
  9. item 18784

Comments


Seth says

Diverting attention from harming someone,
to their being a victim,
does not actually excuse the perpetrator.  


OMG NO!    !!

... notwithstanding that that you hear that being done in our culture so very frequently.

Seth says
dA 2016-01-15 19:29:10 [item 18784#42222]
Funny how you think truth is a lie. But believing that lie allows you to have the experience of being a victim. If you believed the truth, it would not be a possible experience for you … you would not even be able to encounter it … your vibration could not attract it because the experience of being a victim requires a very complex setup of lies to substantiate it. It is not a natural course or experience in the universe at large. It takes conditions such as exist here on earth to set up these very complex conditions and entertwined lies. That is why, for the rest of the beings in the universe, earth is considered to be a very advanced place, an advanced collage if you will. Only very advanced souls come here to have learning experiences that drop the jaws of the rest. They watch us in awe! 
seth 2016-01-15 21:00:30 [item 18784#42231]
Oh surprise, it is funny to you that something that rings false to me, rings true to you.  Nothing funny there to me … happens all the time … it has got to happen frequently because we are different beings with totally different minds.  

Me, i think it is strange that your story implies  that you can avoid consequences from others actions.  Even you must realize that sounds pretty strange.   I suppose it must give you an advantage ... a superiority … you can affect them, but they cannot affect you without your approval.  Yes your new aged meme has its advantages for you.  Sorry, not my thing … not buying it … no ring of truth in it for me … just a feeling that i don’t like. 
dA 2016-01-15 21:08:16 [item 18784#42232]
You are making choices that allow you to have these experiences. Why it “rings true to you” is because it is in alignment with the experiences your inner being has chosen to have, and to observe. The nature of the experiences available here are often too extreme to be able to have them at all if we don’t set up our beliefs this way. But the block of time which we collectively set aside to have these kinds of experiences is coming to it’s end. It peaked during the middle ages when torture and victimization of all kinds were prolific and normal. It has been decreasing ever since. Today it is almost gone and would be if the news didn’t keep focus on it … and also there is a kind of mad rush to get experiences in while it is still possible. In the coming age, the ones our children will be creating, it will not be so easy to have these experiences.
 
interesting story that.   i will believe it when it happens. 

Mark de LA says
Mark 2016-01-15 23:58:18 [item 18784#42235]
Why did you recently wish a piece of a tree go through your face. dA? during a storm in Carolina.  Why did you wish for the storm?
dA 2016-01-16 05:46:37 [item 18784#42239]
The experience I gained from that was priceless. So many things I had been desiring came together through the side paths of that event it was a learning experience in itself just to see the consequences align. And it never really hurt and healed perfectly without a scar … learned the value of honey and coconut oil. All things are on our path because they are part of our bigger picture. There are no mistakes. We can be aware of the bigger processes we are creating, or we can not. That too is one of our choices.
seth 2016-01-16 06:27:53 [item 18784#42243]
yes  well i can give plenty of examples of misfortune (mistakes, etc) creating a new awareness and/or improving my situation. 

The question is not about what you made of the situation.  The question is whether you yourself intentionally created the misfortune or mistake etc.

And then too we are not just talking about misfortune.  What of fortuitous events?  Are we ourselves to be crecited with all such forutitous events?   Carn i take responsibility for all of Tiggers spectacular manifestations at fastblogit?  Too bad for you Nathan … i did it all myself laughing

 
dA 2016-01-16 06:33:59 [item 18784#42244]
You claim what you experience. I experienced part of this, you experienced another. If you claim a part you did not actually experience, that is what a lie is. But every part of what exists in your reality you did create in full. You utilized your vibrational connection with my experience to create it in your reality. You get full credit for all that exists in your reality … you created it. What you either have, or don’t have, is various parts of the experience of creating it.
Mark 2016-01-16 09:15:45 [item 18784#42267]
GW when we were very young told us in order to grasp & intuit karma & exercise such muscles that if a brick were to fall from a building & hit us on the head that we should imagine that we wanted it to happen & that we went up to the top of the building & pushed the brick off so as to hit us.  Interesting exercise I have done some times. 
I asked why you wanted it & how you attracted in the first place.
please note: (also after something happens you can always make a virtue out of a necessity) or
yes
dA 2016-01-16 09:25:31 [item 18784#42268]
Everything is made up. Except your experience, that is what is real. That is what is added to the multiverse. That is what you are here for. The rest are all props, created in the moment by you, so that you can have an experience.
Such ideas only cascade to What IS experience, What IS, IN what consciousness etc. some call that a sleeve-job.grin

Holmes says
dA 2016-01-15 19:29:10 [item 18784#42222]
Funny how you think truth is a lie. But believing that lie allows you to have the experience of being a victim. If you believed the truth, it would not be a possible experience for you … you would not even be able to encounter it … your vibration could not attract it because the experience of being a victim requires a very complex setup of lies to substantiate it. It is not a natural course or experience in the universe at large. It takes conditions such as exist here on earth to set up these very complex conditions and entertwined lies. That is why, for the rest of the beings in the universe, earth is considered to be a very advanced place, an advanced collage if you will. Only very advanced souls come here to have learning experiences that drop the jaws of the rest. They watch us in awe! 
seth 2016-01-15 20:32:49 [item 18784#42224]
Oh, it is funny to you that something that rings false to me, rings true to you.  Nothing funny there to me … happens all the time.   Me, i think it is strange that your story seems to imply that you are not subject to the consequences of others actions. 
dA 2016-01-15 20:37:30 [item 18784#42225]
I am subject to the consequences of my thoughts and my beliefs. When those play out as the actions of others, I experience them. But it is still my creation. Being truly responsible is being responsible for all that one experiences. It is a much higher form of responsibility than blaming others for what happens. It is easy to blame others, easy to be a victim, easy to give away one’s power and complain. It is not easy to be true, to see the world as one’s own creation, to take responsibility for every atom and every experience.
seth 2016-01-16 06:10:12 [item 18784#42240]
How do the actions of others play out as the consequences of your thoughts and beliefs?  Take for example suppose another shoots a bullet into your arm … how would that be a consequence of your thought of belief? Seems to me that is a consequence of them pulling the trigger on a gun. 

Hey i am all for a person living their own life … being in control of what happens in it … creating circumstances … being the force in what they do … being responsible themselves.  Let us be clear that i am not advocating for blaming others and external circumstances for what happens.   But can we use that as an excuse to disbelieve in the consequences of others actions? … i think not … “No man is an island”.
dA 2016-01-16 06:25:03 [item 18784#42242]
  That we create our own reality does not make us islands. It is not the same thing. That’s like comparing applies and oranges. We are connected vibrational to everyone in our vibrational vicinity. But because someone creates a physical experience in their reality does not mean we must create the same experience in ours. Or that if we do create in part or full that we must give it the same meaning. We always choose what goes into our own physical reality, though we are not always aware of that choice. Some experiences would not be possible if we were aware that we chose it … but that is what is changing in these times. We, and especially our children, are becoming more and more aware of our choice in the process of manifestation. The LOA movement and many similar movements are a part of that growing awareness and how it is playing out in billions of different ways through each individual and traveling group of souls.
Mark 2016-01-16 09:29:56 [item 18784#42269]
I am always suspicious of those who like to whip out the L-word i.e LIE, LIAR, …. as if they are the ultimate judge of what is & isn’t . Enjoy the buzz .yesroseloving it
dA 2016-01-16 09:35:10 [item 18784#42271]
You are an excellent data management system, and a lousy dooer. You find an cross reference everything in your perception, and that is your experience, nearly the totality of it. Go right ahead, find a reference and label for what I am saying. But don’t do anything.
Mark 2016-01-16 09:59:26 [item 18784#42278]
Irrelevant response & piss-poor mind reading , but highly enjoyable.thumbs upheartlaughing
Labeling noted. Doing points 0.

Mark de LA says
dA 2016-01-15 19:29:10 [item 18784#42222]
Funny how you think truth is a lie. But believing that lie allows you to have the experience of being a victim. If you believed the truth, it would not be a possible experience for you … you would not even be able to encounter it … your vibration could not attract it because the experience of being a victim requires a very complex setup of lies to substantiate it. It is not a natural course or experience in the universe at large. It takes conditions such as exist here on earth to set up these very complex conditions and entertwined lies. That is why, for the rest of the beings in the universe, earth is considered to be a very advanced place, an advanced collage if you will. Only very advanced souls come here to have learning experiences that drop the jaws of the rest. They watch us in awe! 
seth 2016-01-15 20:32:49 [item 18784#42224]
Oh, it is funny to you that something that rings false to me, rings true to you.  Nothing funny there to me … happens all the time.   Me, i think it is strange that your story seems to imply that you are not subject to the consequences of others actions. 
dA 2016-01-15 20:37:30 [item 18784#42225]
I am subject to the consequences of my thoughts and my beliefs. When those play out as the actions of others, I experience them. But it is still my creation. Being truly responsible is being responsible for all that one experiences. It is a much higher form of responsibility than blaming others for what happens. It is easy to blame others, easy to be a victim, easy to give away one’s power and complain. It is not easy to be true, to see the world as one’s own creation, to take responsibility for every atom and every experience.
seth 2016-01-16 06:10:12 [item 18784#42240]
How do the actions of others play out as the consequences of your thoughts and beliefs?  Take for example suppose another shoots a bullet into your arm … how would that be a consequence of your thought of belief? Seems to me that is a consequence of them pulling the trigger on a gun. 

Hey i am all for a person living their own life … being in control of what happens in it … creating circumstances … being the force in what they do … being responsible themselves.  Let us be clear that i am not advocating for blaming others and external circumstances for what happens.   But can we use that as an excuse to disbelieve in the consequences of others actions? … i think not … “No man is an island”.
dA 2016-01-16 06:25:03 [item 18784#42242]
  That we create our own reality does not make us islands. It is not the same thing. That’s like comparing applies and oranges. We are connected vibrational to everyone in our vibrational vicinity. But because someone creates a physical experience in their reality does not mean we must create the same experience in ours. Or that if we do create in part or full that we must give it the same meaning. We always choose what goes into our own physical reality, though we are not always aware of that choice. Some experiences would not be possible if we were aware that we chose it … but that is what is changing in these times. We, and especially our children, are becoming more and more aware of our choice in the process of manifestation. The LOA movement and many similar movements are a part of that growing awareness and how it is playing out in billions of different ways through each individual and traveling group of souls.
Mark 2016-01-16 09:29:56 [item 18784#42269]
I am always suspicious of those who like to whip out the L-word i.e LIE, LIAR, …. as if they are the ultimate judge of what is & isn’t . Enjoy the buzz .yesroseloving it
dA 2016-01-16 09:35:10 [item 18784#42271]
You are an excellent data management system, and a lousy dooer. You find an cross reference everything in your perception, and that is your experience, nearly the totality of it. Go right ahead, find a reference and label for what I am saying. But don’t do anything.
Mark 2016-01-16 09:59:26 [item 18784#42278]
Irrelevant response & piss-poor mind reading , but highly enjoyable.thumbs upheartlaughing
Mark 2016-01-16 10:02:22 [item 18784#42281]
BTW, Bozo used to like to whip it out too – still looking for that higher plane blogging where ad hominem dissolves.cool
dA 2016-01-16 10:03:02 [item 18784#42282]
Stop looking. Create it.
Mark 2016-01-16 10:16:43 [item 18784#42287]
I have discovered an amazing practice, anyone perhaps can use & that is talk about oneself & not others. Such could eliminate mind-reading & characterizing of others. Want to join me?heartthumbs up
seth 2016-01-16 10:40:37 [item 18784#42292]
well i have noticed that too.   it is far easier to write sentences that ring true if it is just about myself, then to talk about others.   not saying that sums up this thread … just saying that because i am a obsessed with writing true sentences … and mark just echoed one of mine, not that he got it from me laugh.   i even think that my obsessive practice has improved the truth of the thoughts that i write … and the thoughts that occur to me. 

and the strange thing that happens is that most of the thoughts that i hear from others that are about me, hit me as false.   For example Nathan wrote one above,  i can’t quote it exactly here because i am in a modal box, but it was in essence saying that unless I create the same physical occurrence that he did in his universe in my universe it would not happen here.  that goes klunk here.  now i will not say that his universe doesn't work like that … but i can say, that if mine did, i would consider myself the most omnipotent force in my universe … but i do not ... so his thought there seemed like him telling me a lie about my universe. 
Mark 2016-01-16 10:58:29 [item 18784#42300]
like
BTW – talking about others is usually gossip – talking about a person to their “face” may be just as valuble, who knows? laughing

Seth says
okay … found it with a search smiley

“But because someone creates a physical experience in their reality does not mean we must create the same experience in ours.”
nathan

See that is just not the way my universe works.  If i must “create [all] of my physical experiences” … how is it that i am surprised by things that happen?  For me there are other hands working here … not just my own.  Being sensitive to what others are doing has become one of my favorite things … to do that it requires me to loose my subjectivity.  Appaently, Nathan is going the opposite direction.  

by the way, i say “apparently” as a short way to tell people that it is the way it appears to me … it is my acknowledgement of that proposition being just my own subjective understanding … not necessarily being true to others.

Seth says

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