Why do we need the golden rule ?

Well because ….

Till it happens to you, you don't know
How it feels,
How it feels.
Till it happens to you, you won't know
It won't be real
No It won't be real
Won't know how it feels

Read more: Lady GaGa - Till It Happens To You Lyrics | MetroLyrics

...   otherwise it is out of your network … quite otherness to you. 


  1. lady gaga
  2. golden rule
  3. songs
  4. till it happens to you
  5. otherness
  6. not in your network


Si says
The golden rule will never stop things like this. The video itself actually shows near the end what will. The reason things like this happen to people is because of what people believe about themselves. How they represent themselves and their own worth and where they are getting their guidance on the choices they make. There will always be a way to match unworthy feelings inside our own beings. It doesn’t have to be matched by the actions of another human, that is simply an easy path. People must learn the beauty of who and what they are and how to project that into their own reality and then things of this nature will not have a place to live, a place to be something.  God bless all of these people, and may they find the path to their true being and love who they are.

Si says
MR of group mark 2016-02-29 08:13:15 [item 20200#47199]
Yep, some folks just don’t grok the Golden Rule.  It is simple guidance to think & do from the heart All else is just a pile of words.

Mark de LA says
MR of group mark 2016-02-29 08:13:15 [item 20200#47199]
Yep, some folks just don’t grok the Golden Rule.  It is simple guidance to think & do from the heart All else is just a pile of words.
seth of group seth 2016-02-29 08:24:33 [item 20200#47205]
yes, i agree yes.   It is more a guidance to “do” rather than think … because that is what effects others.  However the feedback between thought, action, and the sensing of others is so complexically amazing that, yes, thought should be included.  I would not particularly want another to be thinking evil thoughts about me,  so following the rule, i try not to think them of her. 
Poe of group da 2016-02-29 08:27:07 [item 20200#47206]
I think I am going to remove the th off the list of autotype inserts. It causes more trouble than it is worth … you can get it from the symbol list anyway. Took a look and can’t find where watch is getting in though. It’s a weird one.
seth of group seth 2016-02-29 08:30:11 [item 20200#47208]
oh i would totally heart love love that to happen smiley
Poe of group da 2016-02-29 08:48:12 [item 20200#47209]
Couldn’t do it without also removing 1st and 2nd and 3rd, but you can get those in the symbols and it’s worth it IMHO. 
MR of group mark 2016-02-29 09:07:13 [item 20200#47213]
think from the heart is a phrase some people should acquaint themselves with ...
seth of group seth 2016-02-29 11:29:43 [item 20200#47253]
Well, yes of course … note the emphasis in the lady’s song …
Till it happens to you, you don't know
How it feels,
How it feels.

so the golden rule is all just about the heart.  
MR of group mark 2016-02-29 11:36:12 [item 20200#47254]
The phrase is not so literal. I have interpreted it as the heart-chakra for myself. If I am conflicted I will move my attention to that area & usually my feelings & thinking will change from just my consciousness in my head. But that is all a pile of words. Action is the end product. 
seth of group seth 2016-02-29 11:38:24 [item 20200#47255]
Actually the method works well for the other chakras. Especially moving my attention away from my groin.

Si says
Hummm … this doesn’t make sense. If one really identifies with this idea, that they won’t know how it feels till it happens to them, then either they get on a power trip trying to be the person that is doing things instead of the person having things happening to them … or … they retreat into fear and depression, not living, for fear “it”, whatever it is they are fearful about, will happen to them and they will “feel” it. Both of these are common in our culture.

The golden rule should be followed for one reason, it makes you feel good to follow it. Following it for any other reason is a pathway to not feeling good. The GR is a positive statement about what you can do to feel good, not a negative statement about what you must do to avoid feeling bad. The distinction is very important to where you end up.

Seth says
well I don’t truly know how it feels till it happens to me, although many times i think i can make a pretty good surmize ← that is a experiential fact over here.

all the things you say obtain for others were they to totally believe that fact, do not obtain for me.   so your paragraph rings false over here. 

as to why i should follow the golden rule … well that is quite too complex for me to say in a short paragraph now … so i won’t try.

Si says
I was responding to your topic “Why do we need the golden rule?” and the apparent answer embedded i the song. Most of the rest of what you said in that last comment was not about that, and I may even agree with.  

Seth says
well my original reasoning (and probably that of the originators of the gr) is clear. …

since you do not know how it feels to others, you must use yourself to surmise how it will feel. 

that still makes perfect sense to me.  what does not make any sense to me is your first paragraph.

Si says
Well, when you talk about negative things, which this song does, then the Gold Rule really sucks the way you spin it. Then, either you have to “experience it” because you thought about it, or they do because you do it to them, or both of you do. Quite a pile of wrong to build on there.

As google Byron Katie says in her method “the work”, when you think of doing violence or harm to another you have actually done it in your own mind, and your own being. If one uses the GR in this manner, they are setting a path for violence.

This is why I say the GR is intended to provide a pathway to help you feel good. Any other use of it, especially turning it around and using it to “feel what it is like to feel bad”, is not only setting yourself up for bad things to come to you, but is literally doing bad to your being as well. If the originators of the GR intended this, then it is not a very useful rule after all … but it can be, if you always intend to use it to feel better, if you identify with it as something you can do to feel better.   

Seth says
i was only relating to that one specific verse that i quoted … nothing more in the context of the song.  imho, it is an alternative statement of the foundation of the GR:  “since you do not know how it feels to others, you must use yourself to surmise how it will feel”. 

Si says
Exactly, and I don’t want to do that. Using myself to know how negative things will feel will bring me more of those negative things and make me feel bad while I am using myself that way … and probably won’t do anything good for you either.

If instead, I decide that I want to feel good, and use myself to know what feels good … we both win.  

Seth says
but i dont need to  feel negative  to use the rubric… that is not the way it works for me.  i  remember how it felt when somebody slapped me in the face,  so if i don’t want her to feel that way, i don’t slap her.  but more usually that is so automatic that i dont go through that reasoning or simulating that feeling in myself. 

from the other side of the coin, i remember how it felt for somebody to just give me something that i could use … no strings attached.  so i like to do that to them too.  same reasoning.  also it becomes automatic so that there is no need for me to simulate the the good feeling before i give a gift. 

to me this seems much simpler than your thinking is comming across.

Si says
I agree that it all can become automatic. Both in the good and the bad sense.

As to those being same reasoning … perhaps logically, but they lead to very different results, very different happenings in the multi-verse. When the negative form ends in a feeling good place for you, I will be willing to bet that your actual thoughts where not what you think they were, but you are only logically generating what you think your thoughts could have been in that scenario. Your actual thoughts would have been weighted heavily on the good feeling side, on what felt good to you, or you would not have been able to get there starting with a negative thought.

Seth says
it is hard for me to follow that without examples.  

it sounds like you might be talking about masochism, or tough love.  both of which require an extra level of indirect ressoning to apply the GR.  it becomes complicated reasoning, especially with no examples. 

but for me the GR is not something that I continually reason out … or feel out either … as your thoughts seem to imply.  for me it was a one time gestalt.  once i got the flash, i never needed to reason out a situation.     the basis of the flash, at least for me, was my interpretation of that one particular verse of the song that i quoted.

Seth says
i actually care how others feel inside themselves … which generally means that i prefer that they feel good rather than bad.  The only real connection between me and how others feel inside is iff what i do is the cause of their feeling. 

Now i can suppose that i could be  confused … that i make sombody feel good inside, not for that feeling in them, but rather for a good feeling in me caused by my knowing that i did that to them.  I wonder … is there is any way to test that supposition?  Maybe something like severing my ability to feel good myself, but not my ability to care how others felt, and see if i would still act to make them feel good. 

The negative case is harder to reason … but i don’t see why it would not end up in the same place. 

It seems that your basic assumption is that i have no emotion of empathy that is felt quite independent of my desire to make myself feel good.  But i do experience empathy, and i do not experience is as arising  in me from my  intention to feel good myself.   So i cannot see how your reasoning applies to me,  maybe it just applies to yourself.

ps:  for example let’s say i notice a person being happy quite independently of anything that i did to them,  well I usually emphasize with (vicariously experience) their happiness.  I remember doing that several times today … i was around several people being happy.     that proves to me that i can feel empathy quite independently of any intention i have to make myself feel happy.

Si says
“It seems that your basic assumption is that i have no emotion of empathy that is felt quite independent of my desire to make myself feel good.” – Seth

Not at all. Empathy is a sense. Really, nothing about your last comment has anything to do with what I am saying … it’s just a bunch of made up logic. Anyone can make up logic about anything and make the logic make sense, but just because something is constructed of logic rules does not mean it applies to the situation. In this case it does not at all.

What you think about activates it. Even if you later activate more of something you really want so that that manifests, you still activated the first thing you thought and some of it will be in your experience and being. Doing that is simply not necessary to any place you actually want to go. To feeling good.

Seth says
My feeling of empathy is an emotion.   It is  not activated by my thoughts.   Nor is it a sense, by my criteria of what sensing must involve, since being a sense would require that i was receiving information from outside myself, which i do not.  

I act according to feelings of empathy.  The golden rule just rationalizes,  justifying my actions, usually after the fact, accordingly.  It is only a thought, it does not in itself motivate my deeds … it does not activate them.  Imagining the feelings of others, does however, help build my empathy for them. 

Seems that we still have these things factored differently in our beliefs.

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