FEMA Joke

Cowboy and the FEMA Genie

A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the  Texas plains

without water.

 

His horse has already died of  thirst.

 

He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has  breathed his last

breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object  sticking out of the sand

several yards ahead of him.

 

He crawls  to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what

looks to be  an old briefcase.

 

He opens it and out pops a genie.

 

But  this is no ordinary genie.

 

She is wearing an FEMA ID badge and a  dull gray dress.

 

There's a calculator in her pocketbook.

 

She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.

 

"Well, cowboy,"  says the genie... "You know how I work....You have three

wishes."

 

"I'm not falling for this." said the cowboy... "I'm not going to  trust a

FEMA genie."

 

"What do you have to lose? You've got no  transportation, and it looks

like you're a goner anyway!"

 

The  cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie  is

right.

 

"OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of  food and drink."

 

***POOF***

 

The cowboy finds himself in  the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen,

and he is surrounded with  jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.

 

 

"OK, cowpoke, what's  your second wish."

 

"My second wish is that I was rich beyond my  wildest dreams."

 

***POOF***

 

The cowboy finds himself  surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare

gold coins and precious  gems.

 

"OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it  a good

one!"

 

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy  says...

 

 

"I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will  want and need

me."

 

***POOF***

 

He turned into a tampon.

 

The moral of the story:

If the government offers you anything,  there's going to be a string

attached.

Tags

  1. fema
  2. 3 wishes
  3. funny

Comments


Seth says
Elaine posted a variation of this here ...

A man and his brother were out riding their horses on the family farm. The older brother spotted something in the weeds with the sun glinting off it. He jumped down and found an old lamp laying in the grass. His brother peered
over his shoulder. "You should rub it and see if a genie appears." The older brother rubbed the lamp and, much to his surprise, a genie DID appear.

"Hello. I am the Genie from the Lamp. I am here to grant you three wishes."

The man thought, then wished for a million dollars. The genie waved his hand and a pile of money appeared beside the man.

The man thought some more, then asked for a beautiful blonde woman. Again, the genie waved his hand. The most gorgeous blonde woman the man had ever seen appeared beside the money.

"You have one wish left," the genie informed the man. The man thought long and hard, then finally said, "I wish I was hung like my horse." One last time the genie waved his hand, then, in a puff of smoke, disappeared into the lamp and the lamp itself disappeared.

The man's brother cleared his throat. "Uh, you do remember that you're riding the gelding today, right?"


Mark de LA says


Mark de LA says


Mark de LA says
I guess I stuttered above, eh?

Mark de LA says
The FEMA jokes continue with Obama/Christie regime:
source: ...

The destruction from one of the worst storms to hit the East Coast is still evident in many towns and cleanup continues three months after the storm made landfall.

Rebuilding has taken much longer than victims originally thought it would. They are vowing to recover, rebuild, and reclaim what Sandy took away.

Many victims continue to live in homes without heat or electricity. In Union Beach and Keansburg, N.J., and in the Rockaways, N.Y., many people are living without the basic necessities even as temperatures dip into the single digits.

... & in spite of the 61 billion$$$$ passed a while ago.



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